This is a really great reminder. Holding other people capable of leading their own lives… and not trying to “save” them or “punish” them… which has more to do with us than them.
Why is it so hard to let people go? (Because what if they never come back? Sometimes we’d rather try and keep someone close even if doing so hurts us… and if it’s hurting us, it’s hurting them too.)
Why is it so hard not to take things personally? (Because it’s hard to remember that other people can experience similar things in an entirely different way… it’s hardly ever personal. And if it is, it becomes quite clear. How does it become clear? That’s a whole other blog post!)
Bottom line – take care of yourself first. This is not selfish. In the broader perspective, this is exactly what’s needed for you and everyone else in your life.
There are seasons in life… with relationships too.
The hard part is making sure when you detach, that you aren’t running away.
That you’re not looking at things black and white and writing someone off because what they said and did is just not right. Go deeper… that is, if you want peace.
If you want revenge, then stay hard, stay strong, use you’re valuable energy to keep proving to yourself how right you are, and use even mor energy to block yourself off and avoid every feeling that comes up, and they will, stronger and harder… until you break… until you’re crying out inside for more peace. Then go deeper.
When detaching, you have more space. Space to calm down. Space to reflect. Space to get to know what you’re really feeling, and if you work at it, discovering why you’re feeling what you’re feeling.
Then you’ll discover why you’re really suffering. And it’s rarely about what other people said or did. It’s usually about what you made it all mean.
With relationships, it’s important to allow them to be what they are. Often what we want from a particular person, we’ll receive from someone else. We always have what we need… if you really reflect about your life, can you see you have what you need? If not, this is a worthwhile reflection.
Loosen up on your view of the world… so you can see what’s been right in front of you.